hard lessons.

sorry i havent written in awhile. last week the children only came to matlapa for lunch each day, because it was their first week of summer vacation and the idea was that they needed to rest. and so i stayed and helped at home. it was a slow week but a good one. it was important for me to rest and be with the people here who love me.

i had forgotten that mexico is always about learning hard lessons. the past week or two i have been very upset about some things that have happened in programa among the staff. before, i felt that everyone was here with pure intentions and motives. and now i realize that because we as people are imperfect, our efforts to help the poor and broken are also imperfect. this is a hard pill to swallow--it has really stopped me in my tracks. when you have an idealized version of something and it comes apart, the results are never pretty. but i am glad that i am learning this lesson now. i think we have to hope that god can make up the distance between our ideals and our realities, and that he can somehow use our flawed efforts to change lives. i think we have to do our work, and do it well. and then pray. and really, there is nothing else.