home?

armando, martha, emanuel and martha took self portraits on july 30, along with the other kids here at matlapa.

these past few weeks have been busy, so thus ive been quiet. having my dad here to meet the kids and the tias and see all the places i love was an excellent experience. and yet its been nice doing everything in just one language this week and taking everything in for the last time. i keep thinking i live here, which is a little problematic. i have become so inherently accustomed to the way things are here: the people, the streets, the food, the routine. its going to be more than difficult to leave a life behind here. but i know i need to come home and see the people i care about. ive started thinking about barnard more (i had my first dream of barnard the other night) and it keeps dawning on me that soon i will be living in another huge city, one that is very different from here but just as interesting. i finished up the photography class today. each child selected his/her favorite photo, and then i printed them and we made frames. i will be leaving the cameras here for the kids to continue pursuing photography. i feel like i have armed them with the skills they need, and now its their turn to go out and develop what they have learned. i want to thank you all for your kindness, thoughts and prayers regarding this trip. your support has been invaluable and all those i have worked with here are appreciative as well.

kids with cameras.

marta sits as secia takes a picture at a park.

hellohellohello. contrary to popular opinion, i am still alive and kicking down here in mexico city. things have been busy but good. last week was the start of our summer course at matlapa, and so far ive done four photography classes. i am so pleased with the results thus far. scroll down to see some more excellent examples of the kids experimenting with cameras. the class isnt the same as i envisioned, but i am learning here to change my prioirites and expectations to suit the environment i am in. thanks again to everyone for your support in this endeavor. its amazing to be in the middle of something ive planned for and thought about for so long. what is even more exciting is to see the positive reactions kids are having. there is a real sense of curiosity and enthusiasm with the cameras, and that makes me even more motivated.
i have two weeks left here and i am exciited to make the best of them. my father is coming down on monday and i couldnt be more excited. he has some work to do here but will have a fair amount of time with me to see the projects that comprise programa ninos de la calle and to see my favorite parts of the city. i continue to be in the middle of some very difficult lessons here, but they are important ones. i am glad i am learning these things now. i came down here to learn as much as i can about development, and i see now that that includes the less-than-perfect aspects. i am seeing, though, that god has replaced our fear with confidence, and that we must press on. i am also learning, more and more, that the people with the kindest hearts, the strongest faith, the most dedication, are those with the smallest and simplest jobs. they often do the tasks we do not see, and yet we have to trust that the first will be last and the last, first. the social system here in latin america is very different from that in the us, and sometimes it makes me quite indignant and angry. the tias always tell me, though, that dios es justo (god is just) and i think we have to remember that we see so little of the entire picture, but he sees all of it. thank you for all of your thoughts and prayers. at this point it is hard to fathom coming home, but the idea is easier when i think of seeing all of you.



oscarlito runs around the patio on the top of matlapa.




secia and martha shoot flowers at different angles and distances at a park in xochimilco to learn about the factors that affect a photo.




observing the streets around matlapa from the top of the center.








monica experiments with angles in xochimilco.




martha (a different martha!) poses as children experiment with different qualities of light at matlapa.




armando and israel during our class about using light.




a typical phoography class. kids hanging out, kids shooting, kids posing, kids teaching each other, with me floating around somewhere in the background.




maribell experiments with the camera in xochimilco.

hard lessons.

sorry i havent written in awhile. last week the children only came to matlapa for lunch each day, because it was their first week of summer vacation and the idea was that they needed to rest. and so i stayed and helped at home. it was a slow week but a good one. it was important for me to rest and be with the people here who love me.

i had forgotten that mexico is always about learning hard lessons. the past week or two i have been very upset about some things that have happened in programa among the staff. before, i felt that everyone was here with pure intentions and motives. and now i realize that because we as people are imperfect, our efforts to help the poor and broken are also imperfect. this is a hard pill to swallow--it has really stopped me in my tracks. when you have an idealized version of something and it comes apart, the results are never pretty. but i am glad that i am learning this lesson now. i think we have to hope that god can make up the distance between our ideals and our realities, and that he can somehow use our flawed efforts to change lives. i think we have to do our work, and do it well. and then pray. and really, there is nothing else.

im blogging early this week because tomorrow i will be staying at casa hovde to go with the children to their school. it is their last day before summer break and three of them are finishing primaria, and so they will be honored at a big celebration. from school, all but three of the children will leave for summer visitation with their families. these kids, both those that i worked with last summer and those that are new to the house, are very dear to me. the relationship you have with children when you are with them 24/7 versus when you see them for only a few hours a day, like in matlapa, is very strong. here are some pictures from the past week. ive rediscovered how much i love the black and white medium. i am also realizing, more and more, how important photography is to me and how i hope i can use it in some capacity in my career.

on saturday we visited templo mayor, which was the greatest temple of the mexcali people (pre-spanish invasion). the ruins are located right off the zocalo. the museum there didnt do much for me, but i really liked the ruins. they were especially eerie because they sit in the middle of the citys modernized, bustling hub. mexico always impresses on me what it would be like to have a strong sense of cultural history, which is something we really lack in the united states.

the building fronts around the zocalo are quite varied. you can see the multitude of architectural influences, including spanish, modern, traditional mexican, etc. i really like the diversity of the buildings sidebyside and the colors used. they give a sense of the countrys history and also of its artistic and historical evolution.

the view of the street in front of casa hovde. there are about five dogs that always roam around this area. they live in the house with the tienda (small store) at the end of the street. i personally hate this tienda because the guy who works there always overcharges me because of my skin color. but the kids love going there.

last weekend someone decided to tag one of the walls at matlapa. grafitti is everywhere in this city. every wall on the street is covered with it. last summer the director of programas house was tagged. he mentioned that he could hire someone to come "interpret" the grafitti for him and tell him whether the gang in question was planning to harm his home. lately a lot of the grafitti has been centered around the proposed sale of pemex, mexicos nationalized oil company, to private entities. ive found that every ordinary person ive talked to is against the sale, because they realize that the oil belongs to the mexico people and therefore it is better in the hands of the government than in the hands of big business.

ive been here for three weeks, but it feels like minutes. and yet it also feels like i have been here for my entire life, in a good way. lately i have started to realize that change does not happen in two months. changing children takes years, and i am just a blip in this process. i think you just have to hope that somehow you have contributed to the process of change, this long and invisible and undefined idea.

here are a few pictures from this past week.

on saturday we went to the zocalo, or city center. the zocalo includes government buildings, the palacio nacional, a cathedral, etc. we ate at a restaurant above the zocalo; hence the entire square was before us.


inside the palacio nacional, which holds much of the countrys history, including narrative murals by diego rivera and the room where the countrys first congress met.


the courtyard at the palacio nacional. ive lately become very interested in architectural photography and framing.

and now onto work! one of the streets by matlapa. i feel like this community is very mixed. the problems with drugs and abuse are rampant, but you have houses for the wealthy next to houses for the poor. sometimes it is difficult to tell the difference from the outside.

view of the neighborhood from matlapa. here you can see some of the poorer sections of the area.
fatima (who took this photo) and vani (who is in this photo) wanted to try using my camera after we played volleyball at the park around the corner from matlapa. as you can see here, it is often difficult to tell the difference between the kids who come to matlapa and other ordinary mexican children. i have learned that poverty can often only be seen in the details, like the girls who wear the same ripped tennis shoes every day or the child who, when we talk about "family" words in english and practice them by drawing, says he cannot possibly draw his entire family because he lives with fifteen other people. the poverty here sometimes is less in-your-face than in other places i have visited, like in india, but it is simply well disguised.

today is quiet. im not exactly sure why, but on fridays the children only come to matlapa to eat, and not for homework or other activities. so i am here working on various things that need to be done and enjoying the quiet. this has been a good week overall. the weather has been excellent during the days and i feel like i am getting to know the kids here at matlapa much better. ive done a few english classes each day and one of the tios and i have created fun ways to help the kids review what they have learned. things are also going well at casa hovde. we have a few kids right now who are behaving especially poorly, so that has been hard, but ive started helping with homework in the evening and that is interesting. there are cats now at hovde and two kittens were born yesterday! tonight i am going with the tios/tias i like best to eat tacos for dinner. im trying to take several photos a day so here are a few for you. have a good weekend.


neighborhood around matlapa

courtyard at hovde from my balcony

the neighborhood around hovde with the city in the distance

things have finally settled down here in mexico city and i feel like i am settling into a routine. everything here is the same as it was last summer. most of the children in casa hovde, where i am staying, are the same as they were last summer, and the tias and i have picked up where we left off. i suppose the only main change is that i am working in centro de matlapa, which is in coyocan, about a half hour from hovde. the program here is quite different from the rest of programa ninos de la calle but i think its better. right now there are three groups of children each day. they are in primary and secondary school. each group is here for about two hours to eat and study, as they have just a few weeks left of school. i like the environment here a lot, but im not yet sure how to explain it. the tias want me to teach english this week and next week, while the children are still in school, so i will do that and then start photography as part of the center´s summer program. my spanish has come back so quickly, and i am learning more each day. i feel like i am where i was about one week before i left last summer, in terms of the language. right now my thoughts are about 60% spanish, 40% english, so writing this blog is quite difficult!

there are so many things here i had forgotten about, but as i said before, i feel like my "other life" here is exactly the same as it was before. the weather, with sun in the day and huge storms at night, the constant noise, the language and slang, the food, etc. and especially the children. like i said, it is difficult to explain.

if you are the praying type, i suppose you could pray that i would not be tired. fatigue has been a big problem for me in the past month or two. and also that i would continue to feel helpful. i know that is not my purpose here, but im sure you understand how that helps everything along. i now have access to internet during the week at matlapa (where i am now) because we have a break in the middle of the day, so you can easily contact me here or by email if you wish. thanks for all of your support.